Resolution

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't care to lose weight or stop biting my nails. But it's come time to make a change. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I know that it's been negatively affecting my life. My family hates it; my friends make fun of me. Strangers stare at me on the street. It's ruins my appearance and it ruins my reputation.
Confessions of a sloppy eater. I've gotten grease stains on my clothes and crumbs in my hair. I've walked around with powdered sugar from zeppoles all over my shirt. (Hey they don't call it a shelf for nothing.) It was funny when I was a little girl. Inconsequential when I was a teenager. Understandable when I was a college student. But now? It's gross.
The last straw came today when I got a sandwich at lunch. I couldn't wait of course, so I ate it walking down the street. Only to realize three minutes later that I was getting big greasy drops of olive oil on my pants accentuated by ciabbatta flour dust. I had to walk around the rest of the day like this. People looked at me funny.
From now on, I'm going to sit down and eat my dinner like a grown up.